Internet dating veterans love online dating for a number of reasons not the least of which is the sheer number of singles on dating sites. That first face to face though can be a bit nerve wracking. But being the experienced dater that you are, you know how to put a brave face on. So what do you do if your date is not quite so savvy?
The fact that your date is nervous can be both charming and frustrating. It's clear that even though he or she is happy to finally meet you, it's equally clear that he or she is finding the whole thing a bit overwhelming and intimidating. Which isn't surprising because you are, after all, totally awesome. But you want them to be relaxed because all those nerves are going to get in the way of getting to know each other.
The best way to approach this is in a caring and sympathetic manner. Try acknowledging that you sense they're nervousness and admit that you feel the same. Even if you don't, this little white lie can work wonders in putting your date at ease. Follow this up with the suggestion that you put these nervous feelings aside and concentrate on having fun. Suggest that you both lighten up a bit, and then change the conversation to something lighthearted.
Hopefully, you date follow and you can really get somewhere. If your date doesn't follow suit? Well, there's only so much you can do. You're out there for a good time, not a free therapy session. If quiet clam-boy won't open his shell, don't be rudebut do find an excuse to make it an early night. Maybe this is just how he always is or maybe he needs to ease into things and will be better next time the two of you hang out.
So now that that whole nervy business is out of the way, your date is proceeding smoothly. Or so you thought, until about an hour later when you have concluded that your latest internet dating find is really a jerk!
You don't get it: he's such a good on paper guy, what with his job working with animals and his stories about his nieces and nephews who love him so much but then you meet in real life and wow, he's kind of a jerk. Not necessarily to you or to his best friend or his mother or anything, but to random people, like waiters and valets. Suddenly the man who was so sweet and charming in his emails to you is snapping at a stranger for bumping into him in line.
Yeah, you really can't predict these kinds of things. Unfortunately, even if the anger isn't directed at you, you probably want to cut and run from this one. For starters, there's the possibility that at some point, it could be you he's mad at and that's just too risky. At the least, he's definitely got some deeper issues that you don't want to take on in the beginning.
This might sound a little harsh but dating a man like that is like buying a puppy when you already know it's sick. True, they might all have problems at some point but that shouldn't stop you from shopping around until you find the one who seems healthiest.
This post was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of helpful dating posts.
No related posts.
